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5 things to know about New York’s new sexual harassment laws

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New York State's new sexual harassment laws offer greater protection
The #metoo movement has galvanized women worldwide. Photo credit: Jeanne Menjoulet

Whether you’re an employee or an employer, it’s smart to get up to speed on New York State’s new sexual harassment prevention laws. In light of the #metoo movement, it’s great to see that New York State is taking the issue of sexual harassment seriously.

New York State has done an excellent job with its “Combating Sexual Harassment in the Workplace” website. The website has sections for employers and workers along with FAQs and links to useful resources.

Here are five things you should know about the sexual harassment prevention policies that New York State has implemented.

Sexual harassment prevention policies must be in writing 

Every employer has to have a policy, and they must share it with their employees. The state Department of Labor, in consultation with the Division of Human Rights, developed a model sexual harassment prevention policy. Employers can use this or adopt a similar one that meets or exceeds standards.

Employees must get sexual harassment prevention training

What’s cool about this rule is that the training has to be interactive. That means an employer can’t just hand out a document for an employee to read and call that training. The state is providing all kinds of resources to help employers, so they don’t have to develop their own training. Why reinvent the wheel? The resources are in a variety of formats, including a PowerPoint presentation. Training must be offered by Oct. 9, 2019 and continue annually.

Employers must have a specific form for sexual harassment complaints 

By requiring a specific form, the state is ensuring that employees and employers will have a written record of the complaint. The state is providing model forms in both pdf and docx. The form asks specific questions, such as the name of the accused, when the incident(s) took place, how it’s affecting the complainant and her or his work, etc. The form also asks if the complainant has retained an attorney and if she/he wants to have the employer work with the attorney. If that’s the case, then they need to supply the attorney’s contact information.

Sexual harassment investigation must be done in a timely manner

A company’s policy must pledge to conduct an investigation in a timely manner and confidential to the extent that is possible. Unfortunately, it doesn’t explain what exactly “timely” means. However, there are clues within the model policy, such as the statement that “Upon receipt of complaint, [person or office designated] will conduct an immediate review of the allegations, and take any interim actions (e.g., instructing the respondent to refrain from communications with the complainant), as appropriate.” 

Human Rights law applies to independent contractors 

There’s good news for people like me who work as independent contractors. The Human Rights Law now protects contractors, subcontractors, vendors, consultants or others providing services in the workplace from sexual harassment in the workplace, according to the state website.

As a person who works in the field of communications, I am impressed with the comprehensiveness of the state’s website on this issue. If you’re an employee and you haven’t heard yet from your employer about its policy,  contact your supervisor or the human resources department.

What is your company doing about the new regulations? 

5 takeaways on forgiveness in the workplace

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forgiveness can make you feel lighter
Truly being able forgive and get over a grievance can make you feel lighter!

We’ve all heard the saying “Forgive and forget” but giving forgiveness is easier said then done. We’ve all experienced grievances in the workplace, right?

“A co-worker got credit for work I did.”

“My boss blatantly lied to me to get me to do his dirty work.”

“An outsider got the job I wanted rather than me getting the promotion I deserved.”

Even though in our hearts (if we adhere to Christian teaching), we know we should forgive, and maybe we tell ourselves we did, but sometimes that sting still lingers.

Not long ago I read a book called Forgive for Good, by Dr. Fred Luskin, a professor and researcher at Stanford University. I picked it up because I knew I had some unresolved feelings about a situation and no matter how much I prayed and told myself I’d forgiven this person, I still felt wounded.

What I learned from Luskin is that when we feel the way I did, we create a grievance story, and that story is taking up precious space in our head.

Here are five major things in the book that resonated with me:

How do you know if you have a grievance? 

There are four questions that Luskin poses, and he says that if you answer yes to any one of them, you likely have a grievance “that is renting too much space in your head.”

Those four questions are:

  • Do you think about this painful situation more than you think about the things in your life that are good?
  • When you think about this painful situation, do you become either physically uncomfortable or emotionally upset?
  • When you think about this situation, do you do so with the same old repetitive thoughts?
  • Do you find yourself telling the story about what happened over and over in your mind?

What is forgiveness?

Luskin defines it as “the experience of peace and understanding that can be felt in the present moment. You forgive by challenging the rigid rules you have for other people’s behavior and by focusing your attention on the good things in your life as opposed to the bad.  Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or denying that painful things occurred. Forgiveness is the powerful assertion that bad things will not ruin your today even though they may have spoiled your past.”

I especially like that Luskin challenges the assertion that we need to forget. Years ago, when I had a direct report who screwed up and apologized, I would often think to myself, “I’ve forgiven her, but I’m not going to forget, because I need to keep watch to make sure this doesn’t become a pattern.” Of course, I may not have been taking it personally that she had screwed up. Feeling personally aggrieved is what makes forgiveness so hard.

What is not forgiveness?

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that another person had the right to hurt you or that he or she is getting away with it. It doesn’t mean we give up our right to feel angry or mistreated.

We don’t condone what they did to us and we don’t excuse their bad behavior. And it doesn’t even mean that you must reconcile with the offender.

How will forgiveness help us? 

In his research, Luskin has found that “forgiveness helps people control their emotions so they maintain good judgment. They do not waste precious energy trapped in anger and hurt over things they can do nothing about.”

One of the points that Luskin makes is that if you dwell on what happened, you’re giving the offender power over you. I dislike the idea that a person who has hurt me still retains power over me, don’t you? I want to feel strong, not wounded.

What are the steps to forgiveness?

Luskin offers a nine-step process to forgiveness. Here’s a brief summary: You start by understanding exactly how you feel and why what happened was not ok. You move into committing to do what you need to do to feel better, and understanding what forgiveness is.

From there, you move into practicing ways to deal with the stress of how you feel, and changing your expectations of people who won’t give you what you want. You look for other ways to get your goals met, and “remember that a life well lived is your best revenge.” Luskin reminds us that forgiveness is about personal power. And at that point, you can amend your grievance story “to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive.”

You can read all nine steps on his website here.

I hope that reading this blog may help you move on if you’re feeling aggrieved. I know I’m keeping these steps in mind.

I want to add a caveat here, related to the #metoo movement. I think anyone who has been physically or sexually abused absolutely should seek for the abuser to be punished. Likewise anyone who commits a crime should face legal repercussions. For victims of abuse, I know it may take an unfathomable amount of courage to come forward and tell authorities what happened and go through the legal process. It’s then up to that person to decide how it’s best for her or him to heal.  This blog is not for those situations necessarily although I can see how Luskin’s techniques could be helpful.

Are there times that you have felt hurt about a situation that happened in your workplace or personal life? How did you move on? If you haven’t moved on, will these tips help you? 

 

 

 

Remembering veterans, especially those in Battle of Bulge

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veterans day battle of bulge
Gary speaks at Battle of Bulge ceremony.

Because I believe honoring our veterans is our patriotic duty, I want to detour from my normal blog topics to share the speech that my husband, Gary Brandt, gave on Nov. 11 at the annual Veteran’s Day ceremony sponsored by the Genesee Valley Chapter of the Battle of the Bulge Veterans at the Port of Rochester Terminal in Rochester, N.Y. Gary’s father, Joe Brandt, was a dedicated member of the group until his death in 2010. Today, there are only nine remaining members in a chapter that once numbered 99. Several of them were in attendance on Nov. 11, still sharp of mind. Here’s what Gary had to say: 

Good Morning, everyone, thank you for coming to this annual ceremony to honor our many military veterans in the Greater Rochester area, and particularly those brave men and women who fought in the Battle of the Bulge in Belgium and Luxembourg in December-January 1944-45.

In that Battle, over 1 million troops from the Allies and the Germans were engaged.  American troops alone suffered 90,000 casualties, including more than 19,000 killed. The enemy had nearly 85,000 casualties and 16,000 killed.  The American victory at the Battle of the Bulge halted the German counter offensive and within 14 weeks the War in Europe was over.  As Winston Churchill said, and as is carved on the Battle of the Bulge monument here, “This is undoubtedly the greatest American battle of the war, and will, I believe, be regarded as an ever famous American victory”

My name is Gary Brandt and I am a native of Rochester.  Both the families of my father and mother have lived in Rochester for five generations. Like your families, in our family, we have veterans from all five branches of the armed services, some of whom are still serving today in the Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard.

Battle of the Bulge Veterans Day
Gary with Battle of Bulge veteran Jack Foy, who organizes this annual event.

I am honored to be asked by Jack Foy to speak today.  Jack, Dick Brookins, David Bush, Tom Hope and Marty Cocca served as the presidents of the Genesee Valley Chapter of the Veterans of Battle of the Bulge until it assumed an inactive status in December 2009.  As you know, Jack has given this speech many times.  Over the years he has never failed to speak with dignity and with passion about his love for this nation and to honor the men and women who have served us.  I would like to take a minute for us to thank Jack for all his work and dedication over the years.

Few Battle of Bulge survivors remain

My father, Joseph Brandt, was a D-Day and Battle of the Bulge survivor. He was wounded in battle at the Bridge at Remagen on the Rhine River in March 1945, and was sent home on a hospital troop ship in May 1945. Dad served as the treasurer in the local chapter of the Veterans of the Battle of the Bulge and passed away three weeks after the final meeting in December 2009.  Jack Foy and the other members of the Veterans of the Battle of the Bulge presented the colors at his funeral, and our family will be eternally grateful for that honor.

The local Veterans of the Battle of the Bulge Chapter started with 99 veterans and as of today, 9 remain.  Recently, this past September, the Chapter lost Johnny Cipolla and this week, Tom Hope has departed.  These were brave and kind men, and Rochester is poorer without them.

I’d like to share with you a few words written by John Cipolla and Tom Hope about their time in December 1944 in Belgium at the Battle of the Bulge (taken from their essays in the 2012 book The Battle in Common):

Johnny Cipolla wrote:

“The days were now bitterly cold. The simplest task was difficult. Opening a can of K-rations, retying a boot lace, or feeding rounds into a clip with numb hands could be infuriatingly difficult.  Water froze in canteens. As the days wore on, news began to make its way up and down the lines.  Some of it was good: the 4th Armored Division was fighting its way toward Bastogne.  Other news was not so cheerful: we were completely surrounded and ammunition was running dangerously low.

Then the news that General McAuliffe had given the Germans the “NUTS” answer when he was asked to surrender brightened the day. The mood was lightened even further when we awoke to the morning of December 23rd to a clear, frigid day.  Each of us knew, as soon as we saw the blue sky, that it was finally clear enough for the Allied planes to reach Bastogne and re-supply us.  It wasn’t long before we heard the drone of American and British fighter planes, and the fighters swooping in, strafing and bombing German position relentlessly.”

Battle of the Bulge Veterans Day
Tom Hope and I at the Veterans Day ceremony in 2014

From Tom Hope’s essay:

“One day before December 16th, I went to 9th Army HQ to see Capt. Barney Oldfield, the PR Officer for the Army.  His office was in a girl’s school that had a high stone wall all around the block from the school entrance.  With my driver we had to park on the street around the back of the block from the school entrance.  As we got out of the jeep, I could hear two men on the other side of wall.  One said, as he was pounding one fist into the other hand, “Mister Prime Minister, I could never allow that to happen.”  It was the voice of General Dwight Eisenhower speaking to Prime Minister Winston Churchill.

We raced around the block and into the old school building to find Capt. Oldfield.  “Barney, is that Ike with the Prime Minister out in the garden? I could hear them over the wall talking as we parked our jeep?”  Barney’s immediate reaction was to have someone go out in the garden and have the two men move away from the wall so any passerby could not hear them.”

Tom Hope’s funeral service is today at 2 p.m. at the Twelve Corners Presbyterian Church on South Winton Road.  Please join us if you can.

Veterans Day originated after World War I

In our audience today, please raise your hand if you are a military service veteran.   Please raise your hand if you have military veterans in your family.

Yes, this is your day, and I hope you feel a certain pride every November 11th.

Let’s talk a little bit about the history of Veterans Day or Remembrance Day as it is known in the European countries that fought in WWI.  It is celebrated in the United States and in Europe on November 11th because fighting in WWI ceased on the 11th hour of the 11th day on the 11th month in 1918.

In 1926 the U.S. Congress adopted a resolution requesting that President Calvin Coolidge issue annual proclamations calling for the observance of November 11th as Armistice Day.  In 1938, the Congress passed legislation to make Armistice Day a legal holiday. In 1954, prompted by President Eisenhower, Congress amended the legislation to change the name to Veterans Day.

Like us, the French also celebrate Veterans/Remembrance Day with parades and ceremony.  On November 11, 1998, my wife and I were in Paris at the Arc de Triumph, which also houses the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers of WWI and WWII and where exists the Veterans Eternal Flame.  We witnessed the French people, like we are today, honoring their military service veterans.

Battle of Bulge Veterans Day
Gary and veteran Dick Brookins, who played St. Nick in a Belgium village celebration during WW II.

As a note of history, in 1961 President Kennedy and Mrs. Kennedy, along with French President Charles de Gaulle, paid their respects to the veterans at the Arc de Triumph and the Eternal Flame.  It was from this visit to Paris, that after President Kennedy was assassinated and buried in Arlington National Cemetery, that Mrs. Kennedy asked to have an Eternal Flame placed at the President’s grave site in Arlington.  If you have visited President Kennedy’s grave, you have seen it.

We in Rochester also have our own Veterans Memorials.  Just across the parking lot (of the Port of Rochester Terminal) is the Memorial which commemorates the Veterans of the Battle of Bulge. The 10-ton, three sections of Vermont granite monument was conceived, planned and built by the efforts of the members of Genesee Valley Chapter of the Battle of the Bulge, and dedicated on Oct. 15, 2005.

It is a mere piece of stone with an inscription. Yet it represents the bravery and dedication of the our local men and women, and the other tens of thousands Americans who fought, survived, died, were injured or captured during those fateful six weeks.

Those of us standing here today, and the rest of America, will forever be grateful for the bravery delivered and sacrifices made during the Battle of the Bulge.

Steve Nash, retired teacher who now works at the Rundel Memorial Library.

Also at the event, Steve Nash, senior staff member at the Rundel Memorial Library, spoke and distributed a handout of noteworthy books having to do with various wars since World War I.  Gary also shared remarks from Gary Biekirch, a Medal of Honor recipient, who was unable to attend as he was speaking at other events.