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Nice people finish first, research shows

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My dad, Joe Sutter, behind the pharmacy counter at Sutter Drug circa 1960s.
My dad, Joe Sutter, was known for being nice. Here he is behind the pharmacy counter at Sutter Drug circa 1960s.

Are you as tired as I am of all the nastiness going on in the world? I’m not just talking about the U.S. presidential race — although that’s depressing enough — but about the me-first attitude that seems to permeate our world.

If you adhere to the feeling that “nice guys finish last,” I’m pleased to report that a column in the Wall Street Journal shows otherwise. Arthur C. Brooks, president of the American Enterprise Institute, writes that if you think it looks like the worst behavior is being publicly rewarded and that the world now belongs to jerks, you are wrong. (Read the column here.)

“Nice people, rejoice: Notwithstanding the prominent examples today in political and popular culture, the best available research still clearly shows that in everyday life the nice people, not the creeps, do the best at work, in love and happiness,” Brooks writes.

Follow the Golden Rule

I’m glad to hear that. When I was 28 and became the editor of the features department at the Bradenton Herald in Florida, I got some good advice from a former boss. This was my first management job, and I was green enough that I didn’t know what I didn’t know. But one thing I did know: I wanted to be respected by my new staff (most of whom were older than me) but I also wanted them to like their jobs and excel at them. So the advice that I got from a former boss when I told her about my challenges in helping certain staffers improve their performance: “Be a human being” in working with your staff. “Follow the Golden Rule: Treat others as you want to be treated.”

I know I didn’t always succeed at that as a young manager or even as I got more experienced. But I think I achieved a good balance: expecting high quality work while understanding a person’s challenges of getting there.

So back to that Wall Street Journal column. Here are a few research findings:

  • A 2015 study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology showed that nice employees were seen as being natural leaders and they got significantly higher marks on performance reviews.
  • A 2010 study published in the Journal of Social Psychology showed “that kind acts, systematically deployed, raised the participants’ self-judged happiness,” according to the WSJ column.

Mr. Nice Guy

My dad, Joe Sutter, was known for being a nice guy. When I wrote my family memoir, Sutter’s Sodas Satisfy: A Memoir of 90 Years of Sutter Drug Co., I heard from many former employees who liked working for my dad, a pharmacist who ran the business when my grandfather grew old. And when my dad passed away in 2013, one of my mother’s sisters wrote in a card to me: “I don’t know anyone who didn’t like your Dad.”

My dad was quiet and unassuming, but he certainly had high standards and expected us kids to live up to them. I like to think we have.

Whom do you admire for being nice?

 

Time management technique brings inner peace

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I’m constantly working on time management. There’s just so much I love to do that I tend to say yes when I probably should say no. But I’m grateful for these opportunities, and who knows what tomorrow will bring so I hate to pass them up.

My latest attempt at time management actually has to do with making more time for something that I was neglecting. And that’s time to focus on my inner core, my spirituality, the foundation of who I am.

I’m taking a clue from two leaders whose writings I’ve come to respect: Michael Hyatt and Greg McKeown. I’ve read books and/or blogs by both of these men and they each begin their day by reading something inspirational and then writing in a journal.

Starting my day in a new way

So for most (but not all) days in the last couple weeks, I’ve tried to do the same. It helps that I tend to be an early riser (sometimes on purpose, sometimes due to insomnia). I’ve gone into my home office, turned on the light, shut the door and picked up my reading. From there, I take several minutes to write in my journal. I often write about things that happened the day before, and I try to make sense of them, sort out my feelings, whatever.

Every day that I’ve done this, I’ve felt more peaceful and ready to face the day’s challenges. So this attempt at time management actually means setting aside time to do something that’s improving my mental health, I’m convinced.

What are you doing to maintain inner balance? I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

 

Only one way to write a book: Write!

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laptopI’ve been getting a lot of solicitations about online courses and webinars to teach people how to write a book.

These courses offer lots of tips and ideas such as software packages that will make it easier for you to write and organize your material, and tips about staying hydrated and eating the right foods for energy.

All of that is well and good, but really, the only way to write a book is to sit down and write it.

Here are some of my tips to get you into the mindset to write the book.

Schedule your writing time and stick to it unless there’s a true emergency.

If you’re writing at home, make sure you’re in a secluded place with the door shut and tell your family to leave you alone.

Shut off your email and your phone.

When you find yourself reaching for the phone, stop and get back to work.

Unclutter your desk or the area where you sit to write.

The first newspaper publisher for whom I worked was named Stu Awbrey. Stu was small in stature but a fabulous writer. He would walk around the newsroom of The Hawk Eye in Burlington, Iowa, and “tsk, tsk” at the state of some of our desks. He used to say, “A cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind.” To which I once heard a classified ad rep reply: “An empty desk is the sign of an empty mind.” I agree with Stu; all that stuff can be a distraction.

Don’t use “writer’s block” as an excuse not to write a book.

That comes from my years spent in journalism with constant deadlines where you had no choice but to crank out the story. Write something, anything, and then go back and revise later.

Keep a notepad handy.

Jot down any thoughts that interfere, like “remember to call the babysitter” or whatever.

Prepare for solitude.

Prior to sitting down to write, use the facilities and get a glass of water so you won’t be jumping up after 10 minutes.

Set a deadline and a reward.

Example: “I’m going to sit here for 90 minutes and only write. When that’s up, then I can take five minutes to do whatever I want. Then I have to start writing again.” Resist the temptation to check email in that five minutes because you will end up spending time on it. This of course only applies to days when you can set aside a large chunk of time to write.

Here’s the bottomline:

The world won’t end while you’re glued to your chair and writing. After a few successful writing sessions, I bet you’ll look forward to the solitude and escapism of writing your book.

What tactics work for you when you are writing?